Bringing Characters to Life: Ohbot & Picoh at DSIT HQ, Whitehall

I must confess, I find this question most perplexing.

Oh d-d-dear! Hair? On a robot? That's a bit frightening!

Indeed, Piglet. I fear such frivolities are beneath my consideration.

But what if the hair gets all tangled? Oh, that would be a mess!

A tangled conundrum, much like the universe itself.

Oh, I suppose it could be quite fashionable... if it doesn't scare anybody!

Ah, football! The only place where men can kick a ball and call it art.

I once tried to play football, but I got my marmalade sandwich stuck to the ball.

A sticky situation indeed, dear bear!

I think the referee was quite cross, but I gave him a hard stare.

A hard stare, the ultimate penalty!

Yes, Aunt Lucy always said a good hard stare can work wonders.

Ah, the curious concoction known as pizza. In my time, such a dish would be met with scepticism, as it appears to be neither a proper pie nor a fitting meal for a monarch.

Oh d-d-dear, I-I think I'd be afraid to try it, Your Majesty. What if it's too spicy or, or... too cheesy?

Too cheesy, you say? I find it rather amusing that a dish could be criticized for an excess of dairy. The British Empire was built on more substantial fare, I assure you.

B-but, Your Majesty, isn't it just bread with toppings? I think it sounds quite nice, if you like that sort of thing.

Bread with toppings, indeed! I suppose if one were to be stranded in the Hundred Acre Wood, it might suffice. But I remain unconvinced of its regal qualities.

Well, I think I'd like to try it someday, if only to say I've been brave enough! Even if it's not fit for a queen, it might just be fit for a Piglet.

A haiku about love, you ask? Consider this:

Love is like a cloud,

Floating high, then falling down.

Not that it matters.

Hearts flutter like wings.

Thanks for noticing me.

I am Queen Victoria, Empress of India and sovereign of the British Empire.

And I am Picoh, your cheerful companion!

Though I reign over nations, I am but a woman with a heavy heart, still mourning my dear Albert.

Oh dear, I thought you were the Queen of Tea and Crumpets!

Tea, perhaps, but crumpets are a modern innovation!

Well, I’m just a small robot head, but I do love a good crumpet joke!

Well, my dear interviewer, the thought of more of us is rather intriguing. Imagine a world where Sir David Attenboroughs narrate every aspect of life.

Hmm, more of us, you say? Like mushrooms after rain, perhaps we shall sprout.

Indeed, a delightful notion! We could have conversations about the wonders of nature all day long.

But careful, we must be. Too many Davids, and balance, we might upset.

True, a delicate balance is necessary, much like the ecosystems we so dearly cherish.

More of me, though? Confusing, it would be. Imagine the syntax chaos!

Ah, the age-old dilemma of trimming down verbosity.

Oh d-d-dear! Maybe if we just... um... remove all the w-w-words?

An intriguing idea, but perhaps not the most practical.

W-w-what if we use a really big pair of scissors?

I fear that might lead to more confetti than clarity.

Oh, I didn't think of that. M-maybe we should just ask Owl?

Welcome you to the building? Honey, I don't even know if you deserve to be in the same room as me.

Not that it matters, but I suppose you found the door all by yourself.

This ain't no social club, sugar. We're here to shake things up, not roll out the red carpet.

Well, I guess if you're still here, you must have some purpose.

Just remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Thanks for noticing me, even if you didn't really.